Seb felt she was stagnating in her career. She was very comfortable with her role as a manager for an international bank but had the desire to move on and look for something that offered her career advancement and more job satisfaction. She had felt this way for a few years but didn’t have the courage to do anything about it. This resulted in frustration and bitterness towards herself and her employer.
Seb wanted to focus on the anxiety she experienced when thinking about changing roles, her thought process and lack of structure as well as planning around this and why she finds it so hard to make the first move.
Session 1
After a friendly exchange of greetings, I asked Seb to walk me through her objectives in more detail. She then exploded with an offload of the current situation, feelings and frustrations. For the first ten minutes, she barely stopped to take a breath, and I decided not to interrupt her as I was hearing about much more than just a career issue.
It seemed she was also keen to be more successful in the eyes of her family, saying things such as ‘I don’t want to end up like them’. I realised there was much more here to explore but frequently had to ask her to pause for clarity on what she wanted me to help her with.
I then played back to her what I had heard in the first half of the discussion. We agreed a potential career change was her top priority since she wanted help moving forward. She also confirmed that she had an issue with how her family perceived her and how she viewed them. She asked if we could discuss that another time, as she wanted our upcoming sessions to be career-focused only.
"I had not had a conversation like this ever before in a safe place where I could talk to someone openly, honestly, and without feeling judged or embarrassed."
At the end of our meeting, I asked Seb for feedback, and she thanked me for listening. She said she felt a sense of relief getting things off her chest and how she never imagined she could do that with a complete stranger. I summarised our first session, and we agreed to continue our meetings.
Session 2
During our second session, I wanted to confirm her objectives to ensure clarity on both sides, as it had been two weeks since we last met. Seb was somewhat apologetic for ‘downloading’ all her frustrations in our last session. I reassured her that the most important thing is for us to get into the details in order to move forward the best we can. We agreed to go even deeper to analyse the issues. For that, I asked simple non-guiding clean language questions to evolve the discussion from there.
When did you first feel these issues? What seemed to trigger them? How did it make you feel?
From exploring these symptoms, it became apparent that Seb was unhappy with her work life, and this was impacting her personal life with overflowing anxiety and frustration. Despite her role as an operations manager and being responsible for running a global team of 80 people, she actually had little control over the decision-making process, management and other procedures.
When we ventured into why this was the case, she exploded into a rapid condemnation of the senior management team and the company’s work ethic. I wanted to explore the key dynamics of this particular situation. To do that, I used various toolkit options to understand why and what approaches Seb has taken in the past to address this and what the outcomes were.
It was very evident that Seb had correctly approached her management team with these issues in the past and had all the reasons explained to her in detail. As we explored this further with me asking open question after question, it became apparent that Seb did not like the answers she received despite the fact her management team had been very open, honest and clear.
To this company, the specific business line is not a profit-making concern, and they see it just as a necessity, not as a priority. This resulted in fewer investments, both financial and concerning management oversight and to the employees.
Seb sat silently for about a minute and then said she accepted that she knew this and experienced it every day, but she was not very structured when planning and managing a way out. She felt nervous about changing her job and lacked confidence with the interview process and starting somewhere fresh.
I asked her how I could help. I had to resist her request of ‘what would you do’ and explained that it was about her, not me. I then offered the opportunity of exploring a few models she could use to help her decide if a move was right for her. We discussed the SWOT and BRAIN analyses. She opted for SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) as she was familiar with the format and had used it in business and never thought of applying it in this way. She suggested she would complete a SWOT analysis and we could review at our next session.
Session 3
A very enthusiastic Seb returned for our third session motivated by her SWOT analysis. Her motivation stemmed from the fact the strengths and opportunities far outweighed the weaknesses and threats. She explained that she had self-analysed her personal and professional qualities for the first time and could see value in herself.
"My true worth is evident to me and to potential employers"
With this newfound enthusiasm, I asked her how this would influence her next steps. As she started to discuss this at length, it was very evident that Seb was slowly but surely becoming more confident. She had totally accepted her current role was going to be in the past, and her focus now was a new position in another organisation.
She concluded that her anxiety, frustration and bitterness were not a result of abilities or performance but rather her mindset triggered by her current work environment. This was a significant turning point for Seb, which helped drive a surge of energy towards her goals. We agreed that the next session would focus on the structure and planning of a new role.
Session 4
Before our fourth session, Seb called me to say she had applied for a couple of jobs asking whether that was OK. I smiled to myself and told her it sounded like she has made a decision and taken the first step. I suggested we talk at the next session, which was due in a few days, a week before any of her interviews.
As the session approached, I realised that Seb was pleased with arranging the interviews and was now more comfortable. She then specifically asked for some help around the structure and planning to look for a new job. I asked her to elaborate on her concerns or wishes.
She said arranging an interview was easy. You apply online, talk to no one and get an electronic response. It was the next steps that were daunting. We discussed the use of the GROW model (Goal/Reality/Options/Way Forward). She liked the elements of being specific, focusing on what is achievable, realistic, exciting and relevant. The model allowed Seb to ask herself relevant questions and manage her expectations.
Seb had talked previously about how she successfully dealt with sensitive or complex management issues at work. I asked her how she might take the same approach with her career journey breaking down the various components into smaller, manageable steps.
We struggled a little during this session from what I identified as a limiting belief. Seb believed that all managers and all companies are the same, and if she moves, it is only a matter of time before she finds herself in the same situation. This automatic thought repeated itself a few more times during what was predominately a positive, forward-thinking session.
What would be the benefits of taking that negative thought and turning it into something positive and empowering?
I then took her through the process of exploring the importance and alternatives to plan the next move. This had been our most productive session by far, and we both could feel the energy in the room. When we meet next time, Seb will have had two interviews, and we agreed to review her journey at that point.
Session 5
It was nearly three weeks later that we met up for the fifth session. I welcomed Seb and started by asking her how things had been since our last meeting. She was full of joy, telling me she had interviewed with two companies. She disregarded one of them as the role and conditions were not quite right. On the other hand, the second company offered her a substantially improved package with a managerial position and increased responsibility. She had accepted the role and was currently working out her notice.
Seb now knows that with structure and process, she can address self-belief issues in the right way or, in her words, ‘anything is possible'.
This was great news, and I was so happy for her. We reflected at her request on how far she had come since we first met and what were the learning points. Seb said she had never felt the need or believed she hadn’t had the time to decipher her challenges. She even produced a GROW model version of his next steps, starting with the new company.
